I don't even know how to start. Really. I have no idea what is even going on. Maybe it's like karma or something, I don't know. It feels like as if you are coming after me, not your fault though. More like my fault. Cause I just had to start it. And now, I don't know how to end it. It's confusing and frustrating at the same time. It feels like as if you are taking revenge. Sometimes, you treat me very nicely and sometimes, you treat me like shit. I am like confused. Do you hate me or like me? Maybe both. No idea.

When you treat me very coldly, I just get reminded of the past and think of it as my fault, so I just have to suck it all up and keep quiet, but really, it gets veryveryvery awkward. Seriously, I have no idea what to do anymore. Things get awkward and I just randomly say something to start up a topic and you will reply with 'so?' and 'whatever'. Then, I have no idea how to respond. Maybe, it's just me being sensitive...

I told myself not to care and just get over it, yet I'm crying. HECK, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I'M CRYING. Last time, I thought through like a lot before apologizing to you. Like, how I was mean and evil to everyone. You said you didn't change, but I guessed you did. A lot. 2 years ago, I was damn mean. And last year, I was also very mean. To you. I guess this is what you call 'learning my lesson'. But, 3 weeks back when you talked to me about why I became your friend again and said that I was just sympathizing you and I tried like really hard to explain to you but you just continued to rant on about the evil things I did, it felt like as if the whole world turned against me. I know I was wrong and that's why I apologized. But I don't understand why you did that. You told me it's for fun. I would be a fool if I believed that.

And till now, the question always ring in my head.