I feel so all alone, I wanna run to you my love. I'm saving all my love for you.
Thursday, January 17, 2013 | 6:28 AM | 0 comments
Is this sound of the rain, your voice?
Is this a sound that calls to me?
Am I the only one thinking of you?
Will this rain comfort me?
Do you know how I feel?
I keep thinking of you.
——Rain Sound / B.A.P
I'm hard to understand. I really am. I get so confusing when it comes to what I want, and whenever something is wrong. I can never set my mind straight. Sometimes, my mind is blank. Being a confusing person can lead to so much problems. I'm hard to understand, hard to handle, and I'm just very hard to deal with. That's how screwed up I am huh.
I'm in such a horrible mood. I don't even know why. Everything you say, everything you do just pisses me off to the core. And it's not fun. At all. I'm so worn out. I miss KC. I miss everything else. It'll never be the same. What happened to my sense of belonging. It's so screwed up. It's not supposed to be like this. It feels like shit. I hate it. It hurts so much. I can't seem to remove my facade. Why do I keep giving my disgusting smile to others, trying to please them. I hate doing that. It's so hard to comprehend. And I can't seem to stop wallowing myself in self- pity. This wasn't what I wanted. I just wanted to be myself. But what's that? I'm just aimless. Continually moving forward. It feels like as if I'm dropping deeper and deeper into this black hole of nothingness. I don't know what I want anymore. I don't even know what I am anymore. And the best part is, I just randomly break down from time to time. After all this time, I still feel like this. No, it got even worse. It feels so empty. I can't stop reflecting and having this strong urge to rant. I just want someone to tell me it's going to be okay. Even if it's not. I can't seem to do this alone.
No, I can't.
Bye.
