넌 아직 힘들지 참 내가 못났지
미안 참 미안해
너 많이 힘들지 나만 괜찮은지
이리도 무책임한 사과할게

—— Sorry/ Jonghyun

So JCTs are over and I'm feel even more like shit. 

Sigh, my emotions are killing me from deep within and I'm acting like some moody bitch. fml. Honestly, after receiving half of my results, I'm internally panicking for my EOYs. How am I going to do this? I can't, I really can't. 

I studied my ass off for every single subject and yet I'm failing. I know I shouldn't be complaining, but this wave of disappointment just can't fade away. No matter how I try to console myself and tell myself that my overall results will be fine, it still doesn't remove the heavy feeling in my heart. I know I could have done better. If I just tried a little bit more. But because of my decision to be some lazy ass, it took its toll on me and I guess my results just hit back straight at my face. I tried my best. But I guess, my 'best' isn't enough huh. 

I don't know how I'm going to handle all this shit.

Just a few more months to go.

Please help me.

Bye.